Perhaps, the rampant prevalence of recent discriminations, persecutions, biases, prejudgments …At some point, I succumbed to the concesion that the world is at is, and there’s no point of enlightenment at all. Humanity and their "one-sidedness"; norm follies.

But then, I was wrong.

Out of the utmost effort to ferret for individuals who would go beyond these prejudices, I finally found few. The process in itself is long, but the ends commensurates the effort being worthwhile.

I’m glad that there are still people whom you could really call friends. These people whom have not rendered prejudice. People whom have remained in equity to both sides of the story and likely, go beneath the surface.

I am not bound to the purpose of swaying or convincing anyone onto my favor, but to the purpose of picture scrutiny.

It’s a good thing there are still people who wouldn’t render immediate judgment upon gossips, five minutes in front of their faces.

I call them "transcendentals"

And I’m Lucky to have’em. You know who you are. ..and I thank you. For transcending.

"Refuge ..It’s all I’ve got and misery."

Everything that begins ends. Sadly, the end is drawing near. Summer was a ride I will never ever forget. Of course, it’s where the highlights of my life took place.

I guess, not everything that started out well ends well. True to some but not to some perhaps. Maybe, that is corollary of an even-share world. That’s just how it has got to be. Per se, you can’t have everything in life, now can you?  But what is important, is the worthwhile experiences we had with people whom have been with us throughout the entire course of experience. These people we encounter consummates the essence.

I remember the first, second, third reasons why I took up summer classes, and how surprisingly the recent events that took place took sharp turns in my life. And abrupt, unexpected shifts of the reason I first persevered to uphold in this season. It’s like a culmination of dramatic excerpts from senti films rolled into one.

I’ll remember my group as well (In my BM subject.). Though they are a bit pricks and most of the time, handfuls and headfuls (except for the girls, they’re more dedicated. What do you expect? They’re girls!) prince, william, brian (oooooooooh…him. he never gets into class without smelling like puffs.), jamaica, grace, these few exceptional individuals gave my entire time being in the class a reason to migraine (Note: 6 cases! 6 cases! was single handedly made by moi! ..myself and me alone.), to vexation, to effort, to strive. It’s the banner spirit of camaradery that made me do the exemplary. Though ever since I was never really the group-oriented kind of person. I always preferred working alone because personally, most of my rewarding experiences called for solitude.

(Addicts?? Not at all …just one decent in the middle. Else are not misfits. Just jolly. P.S. The one acting as if unzipping my zipper, is not really a fag. Just gender confused. )

But I realized, maybe the entire act wasn’t really for me at all. It was for something else. Somthing else greater than me. ..It was for them. The people around me who made me, maybe indirectly, do the things that I do. In such a way, that they molded me to who I am.

Of course, the entire summer wouldn’t be at its peak essence if without for the sole reason of my recreation. Her. ..Angeli Yeasa B. Alberto.

Maybe the nature of the reason was concealed by circumstances. I believe that it was devised behind the curtains of scenarios eventually unveiling in the process. Painting out a clearer picture of the real essence of my being here. If it was predisposed, that I was suppose to find her now, this summer, I’m gratified. To think if it were so. She is the sole most important turning point of my life. My redemption. My salvation. Days ranging from 20-26th of April were the d’enouement of momentuous highlights rammed into this 4-day stroll into paradise. Short a time, but a day’s an eternity when my hand is in her hand. We were immortals of a 144-hour nirvana.

Sadly, a week from now, the controversial, rewarding season is bound done. And days, weeks, months, years after a week from now they will become memories. Memories permanently painted in the canvasses of my mind.  And will forever be carved in my heart. The end of this season is only but the beginning of another life. A life anew, a life of sweet-surrender, a life of a new meaning and essence. A life with a much more rewarding half. New chasms to bridge, world again to defy, odds to be conquered. And immortality to subdue.

Then again, I will rise into the pinnacles once more.

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks, and i’m tryin to get back
before the cool done run out i’ll be givin it my best test
and nothin’s gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

I won’t hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you’re free
look into your heart and you’ll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It’s your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won’t hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i’m sure
there’s no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i’m yours

*scat*

I’ve been spendin’ way too long checkin’ my tongue in the mirror
and bendin’ over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I’m a sayin’is there ain’t no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it’s what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, i’m sure
(there’s no need to complicate
our time is short
it cannot wait, i’m yours 2x

no please don’t complicate, our time is short
this is our fate, im yours.
no please don’t hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, the sky is yours!)

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you’re free
look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family
it’s your god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved
open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you’re free
look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la happy family
it’s our god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la peaceful melodies
it’s you god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved…

Okay. ..acquaintances are very rare. Okay, she does come and go. Okay that she never could actually stay that long. But hey, it’s LDR, what do you expect?

Here’s a catch. It was only then I appreciated the incentives of a long distance relationship. YOu make up for the best of what you have. You make sure that every second you spend together is worthwhile. You cherish each touch, each fondle, each caress, and the scent, the scent would always be remarkably memorable. Then you glare at the moments seemingly expanding but pacing. An eternity in an hour.

Each kiss was like a beginning of an everlasting. Emotions are brewed into passion and zeal. Each embrace (bone crushing, literally) crushes your very heart.

So piquant but disappointing.

But then, though it was just it. 5 hours or so .. though just that, it was worth the entire world there is to me. Though at the point where she had to go, I was in ineffable happiness. Something that I wouldn’t trade for anything for a million years, cause right then and there. .. I found forever . ..I found reality. ..Nirvana.

Sad though that she has to. But all’s well. Her eyes, her face, her nose, forehead .. .the kiss. ..were of the highest essence of my very existence. I knew, she was the sole greatest most important thing that ever happened to my almost 20 years of existence.

In this asunder, I felt complete. My first time to ever feel this way in my entire life. Complete, though distant, but still . ..complete.

Now this is the real truth. Not some "years-long" indulgent misery. What we had is only four (4) days. And it was all it took to enlightenment.

Acquaintances may be very rare. But with her? Rarity is bliss.

The inutterable fall speaks of a thousand debacles

In ashes apart the heroes fall in pieces

Should bastions lie in distant gape?

Of what death glorifies the living

When living is a plight of a lifeless existence

To what sorrow more should I mourn

When I have reached the decadence of insurgency

What glory is there in winning?

When the prize of glory itself is taken

What hope do we seek?

Doth hope had fled in distant skies

I lie in wait for purpose

Until then I remain a meaningless existence

In time, purpose will find me

In its arms I shall yield in eternal death

My days since she was pulled out were never really as perfect as it should be. But hey, today I’m happy! Okay.. a bit ecstatic, melodramatic downcast at the same time. The incentives of accomplishing something great.

- Now that’s Happy.

Gee whiz. ..that’s a 137/150 unexpectedly’ (I was expecting a lesser figure) But hey! I got it! Topped midterms, though not that qualifying for scholarships (sooner or later I’ll get there…) but still, top of the class. Gratifying, rewarding. But too early for party, we still have finals. But nah.. really, who’s gonna box me out?? Not her I suppose "- (Haha! definitely not her! ..I don’t even have to doubt. ..)

Kinda funny though. ..I never have actually studied but at the eleventh hour (Seriously. ..Pressure helps you get motivated.) I usually spend my time star gazing, and picturing out a face at the pitch black skies. I guess, it gave me answers too. 

And also, for the longest time since, today I received a hundred text messages uninterrupted, incessant, influxed from her (P.S. Perhaps her mama/evil/satan was out of the house. ..I hope she’ll cripple herself on her way in.. -_-" ).  Not only that, once again after 3 weeks, I finally saw her face again. ..Delighted, of course ..though not personally saw her, still contented. For at least, I was able to tell her finally how much she meant to me (She cried listening to it .. I don’t know if it’s the distant relationship we’re having or just the though of missing. ). It tore me apart, yes, but in a way happy. A momentuous bliss, I should say. Short noticed but felt eternal.

Weeping. ..

Well ..It won’t be for long that we remain like this. I have to bridge that gap again. Like I’ve done before.

Now, I’m still making marks and trademarks as well into this institution. Weaving too much reputation actually. From debates to oratorical to oral to quizes, I’m afraid I have too short a time and too great being founded. Sooner or later I’d be leaving the realms of this University and all I could do is look back at what I’ve made. All but footprints in the sand but I sure do hope so they won’t just disappear.

I brewed in too much of the good thing in this university. But I’m willing to give’em up. I believe, that there’s more to an A in a paper in life, but the hearts that we hold in our hands. They’re more important than anything else. ..

(P.S. Baby. ..I’m missing you a lot .. I want to kiss you badly ..sniff. ..Gee… who’s gonna be there when I need a hug!? )

"When you’re persecuted, stay with me and you will find refuge

If you are tortured, in me you will find reprieve

My love, our love would provide us with all the strength we’ll need.

At times when darkness reigns, in that love, seek, and you will find light

When you feel lost, draw hope from your heart.

The battles to be fought are far from over.

The conclusion is yet for us to be written

Not by fools and their one-sided judgment.

Together we will risde to rise into power,

Baby, with you, we conquer…"

"Real fear does not exist in the presence of others. It is within ourselves. The fear of our own power, to do great and terrible things. .."

It is time I do away with this fear. And so shall all of you will pay. ..

To bleed a thousandth time, doesn’t break the wall

To scream the loudest I can but naught be heard at all

To wail in flooded drench, could I rise from this cruel fall?

To a sole soul unheard, could you hear my cry’s call?

To frozen hands it shivers cold, your warmth I sought

To the empty beddings, to solitude I fought

To this heart, of you and your arms I ought

To this misery I am eternally caught

To and fro, in my darkest strides

To all the sorrow and downcast glides

To all the amity lost in all sides

To only darkness I confide

To what time, I beseech in union thee?

To what long wait would sore to plea?

To yet, in eternity I succumb to thee

To forever in your arms, I lie in wistful glee.

Morning of today I just affirmed personally how messy elections really are. From lost names to lazy voters, nitty-gritties and stuff, it is messy. (Not to mention the indelibles! They sure are indelible. ..Now my nail looks dead.) Thumbmarks, and flinching teachers, well they sure do exist.

 

(Note: This is not an ingrown or bleeding dead nails.Though it might look like. )

Gladly, I made it through with flying colors, violet, black and all. Out of all the obsolete, passe, whatever you’d wanna call it, kind of system they had, which I think might have been already lost in states of real civilizations (i.e. United States, Euro), although I’m a bit little too over-concerned about my ballot, rest assured, I personally got it in the ballot box.(Never really trusted the teachers, they might be instruments of "evil" for all we know.)

Rewarding, to put it in a word. The ink in my hand, although filthy looking, is a mark of my becoming a full-pledged constituent of this state, and citizen of this nation. Funny, in a way I feel powerful and all(State of Mind. ..), finally, a part of being me as someone for this country is fulfilled in its first steps. A pinnacle to climb though, but didn’t really flinched me a bit.

I feel like in every letter that I wrote as it gradually formed into names, the more I become involved and responsible. ..True, true! Seriously, you do feel liable for whatever the outcomes might be. Though, you get excused by the election crimes ever existent, you still feel being a real part of whole. 

Now, that finally I have evolved in such a way, I perceive that everything is just but a step away.

Moral: Get involved. Apathy and indifference are cultures that should not be cultivated. Circumventing our very rights by condoning our responsibilities is as grave as a degree in fellony. Stop corruption, most of all, save ourselves, this nation.

Good night