It was all too fresh to begin and end with. Wherein I have completely excluded myself of the ideas of drawbacks and with an effective travesty of reasons, I have consummately assumed that an ardent sincere effort would be sufficient to eradicate an unforgiving past. That a life anew would be all too imminent if had I been so determined to leave everything behind and close all books on a bitter historical truth and reality.

Then again, have I been so presumptuous and too overconfident with my ability to be resilient that at the end of the day, comes a point of realization that I’m still incarcerated within the past’s remnant’s prison.

True, that a deliberate attempt to liberate myself from a binding state is corollary to an honest endeavor to be extricated from a perennial misery encompassing despair, anguish and frustration. But in an another premise, I find myself conspiring a powerful excuse not to face my most formidable fear and escaping the possibility of a debacle in choosing a “head-on collision” resolve to basically answer the root-cause of my disconcertion and an apparent self-inhibiting precaution.

I haven’t really overcome the shadows. I was merely arbitrarily answering questions in an “as-of-the-moment” basis that practically jumpstarts me into working in an elevated machinery of various new possibilities condoning the fundamental queries that ought to be significantly answered. Without even grasping the real causes of this infallible dilemma.

Questions like: “Do I really don’t love that someone anymore?” “Am I actually already free from that emotional binds?” “Is she really a closed book?”…

Retrospectively, the answers to those questions seemed inutterable for me despite of my definite awareness. Therefore, proving that the gravity of here existence’s presence in my life still weighs down on me, that I have just been too efficiently evasive in confronting a debilitating truth.

I am in a deadlock.

And the key is seemingly nonexistent or it might be its whereabouts have not been revealed yet. And what’s more intimidating is that I have had this persistent hunch that it’s only the past that possesses it.

But I do not wish to concede. I will still affirm my stand that the key is somewhere out there in my future. Regardless of its span of expectancy, it is really there. I just wish that it finds me soon before I spun the last thread of hope.

These questions, these dilemmatic situations, and this deadlock might be deteriorating the morale of my existence. But I’m certain that it would come to pass. That my patience will reward me peace and someday, someone will have to be that savior and redeem me from this seemingly abysmal condition.

It’s not about how flashy the tag code
could get or how complicated the
scripts are. It’s how you make a
masterpiece out of it. -A single piece
of art worth appreciating for.

What really matters is that sense of
creativity.

That’s why rippers are abhored in the
arena of friendster lay-outing. Because
of their creativity lapses, they
compromise other people’s hardwork and
reaping fruits of labor which are not
rightfully theirs.

I move to condemn these rippers. I hope
they’ll rot their mundane minds to
death.

And to all those acting "As if" they
know a lot. Stupid charlattans ..I hope
they’ll get what they deserve..

We were all born entwined with paths. We come across them in every step of the way we walk the course of our lives. And in a span of a lifetime, paths are walked into and ended and others begin.

We may fall on our knees so many times in this journey we partake. But every single fall is a reason for you to believe that it happens, for you to learn how to pick yourself up. Each path you’ve been through entails not only memories but as well as lessons. And that we learn from them before taking the next path again.

Each and every one of us are born of the legacy to live our lives the way we want it to be. Not to think, that in everything that happens to us are all results of our choices’ "cause", but to forge a destiny not out of mistaken choices but of the lessons learned in every path we took.

I was blogging my way through Friendstertalk.com when I came across this topic. I hope it will be educational.

To the Motion:

THBT We should give everything for Love:

I believe Love is not Love if without responsibility. It might be that love is superimposing in essence but it doesn’t mean it’s negligent.

It is all-encompassing. That means truly loving someone must not be wreckless but reflective and contemplating at the same time. Truly Loving must not cause due harm to the persons who partake in it. And if "everything" would mean hurting the other, then it’s not love at all. I guess we must not all fail to put scrutiny in every thing that we do. Even if it is for the sake of loving in everything that you’ve got.

Love was never irrational. It delves in the indepth constructs between your rationale and emotions. If you learn to read its true nature then you’ll know how to balance yourself in the catwalk between the mind and the heart.

It could’ve been a blatant proof where why you should expect the unexpected.

Well then, for those who have been reading my blog posts would’ve been already aware of the processional, chronological accounts of my life’s anthology. How the most degrading tragedies that have almost destroyed half of my existence turned out to be a catalystic condition which invoked that sense of transcendence. How I’ve welcomed the realization that the past events’ occurences were not made to draw me into an eternal inescapable abyss but a slippery slope to teach me how to salvage myself from decadence. That history are not sore memories to painfully remember but a point of learning and transcendence.

Well then follows the reflective breakthrough from a solitude, considering it as an incentive state but with a catch of infallible emptiness. How I have lost the reasons to be inspired and that seemingly fleeting light of hope of finding what has been sought.

Or so I’ve thought. ..

Well, upon the light of my recent acquaintances, I felt the dawn of reasons anew. Where the casual conversations began to exhume an emotion almost left forgotten. Probably, I may have condoned it for a long time that I almost never took it as considerable point to begin with. Then reasons were surprisingly spawning out from nowhere due to an act of rekindling an apparent unsung and unpopular past. It’s amazing that it actually conjured a "mutual-spark".

A little maybe. But a good start-off to an incoming state of bliss. A rennaisance of reasons taking a semi-new form from a past entity.

And I’m thankful that she has given me mirth in the most unexpected way once again. And how she made me feel consummate in part at least the moment that acquaintance transpired after a very long time that it has not.

I don’t know if she knew who I was refering to in this composition was really her.  But if only she takes time to read it by heart, I’m sure she’ll be able to read between the lines and see the core of this call.

As of now, I could only pray that she stays long enough for me to be able to fully disclose what has been locked for some time already. Enough time until from my subtle unfolding comes into a full bloom. I guess God always holds time to make those unceasing awe for everyone. That you always have to expect the unexpected.

Now my unexpected finally is beginning to conceive. And I’m happy it is so.

by: Damien Rice

Lisa: Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It’s the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It’s the wrong time
For somebody new
It’s a small crime
And I’ve got no excuse

Lisa: Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don’t shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that alright with you?
With you.

Damien: Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It’s the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It’s the wrong time
She’s pulling me through
It’s a small crime
And I’ve got no excuse

Damien: Is that alright with you?
Give my gun (Lisa: it’s not alright) away when it’s loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don’t shoot it how (Lisa: it’s not alright) am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: its not alright) when it’s loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Damien: Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: its not alright) when it’s loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don’t shoot it how (Lisa: its not alright) am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: its not alright) when it’s loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

(Slight Overlap..)
Damien: Is that alright yeah? with you?
Lisa: Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Damien: Is that alright yeah?
Lisa: If you don’t shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Damien: Is that alright yeah?
Lisa: Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Damien: Is that alright, is that alright?

D & L: Is that alright with you?

Damien: No…